May 2, 2008
Testing 1,2,3
Today’s the day for the spot mammogram and ultrasound and I’m scare. I’m scare that this ordeal will not be completed today. I will need to have the focal asymmetry removed for complete analysis. I fear that my thoughts are all powerful and my sick mind can predict the future. I really think the blip is a fat lump. I don’t think I have cancer. It is scary.
I liked it better when my biggest worries were: 1.) How was I going to even my weird sun tan lines on my legs? 2.) Who was going to become my new leg waxer? 3.) When was I going to have my first “real” date? 4.) What was I going to have for dinner?
These questions seemed overwhelming in the past. Ah…to have such simple worries.
Well testing 2 & 3 will hopefully be completed by 5 p.m. today and then I return to some of the simpler concerns. Hey, anyone out there know a good leg waxer? Keep the good thoughts coming, I need them. I’m not sure I’m doing a great job myself. I love the love.
I am sending good vibes your way!!
Hey Laurie,
God, I know this freakout well. I went through it the year before last. Now every year is a freak out year, as they have to make sure the assymetry is still looking innocent, and every year the story might change. I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. My fingers are mightily crossed for you. i wish I was still there so I could give you a big squeezer hug …
Love you
Michelle
Laurie,
Best wishes with the test today. I feel so bad that when we saw you last weekend I hadn’t checked in on LaurieSue in a while so I had no idea what you were going through. If you were feeling scared or preoccupied during dinner it sure didn’t show. You seemed happy, calm and confident — I hate to use the word “glowing,” if that’s beginning to carry a strange connotation somehow, but yeah, kinda glowing.
You’ve been around hospitals, doctors and medical procedures a lot more than I have so you don’t need my advice. But I know that it has helped me to stay focused on the thing just ahead, not to worry too much about the horizon, and to hold positive thoughts.
I have a good feeling about your test today. I’m looking forward to hearing your next report: that the blip is not serious and that you can get back to evening out your tan lines and working on dates, real or “mock.”
Good luck.
Love, Mark
thoughts with you.
I keep checkin’ your blog for an update and sending good thoughts your way.
xxoo Jacqui