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The much anticipated, can’t wait to hug them family tour of my German friends, Arno & Susanne, starts next Sunday, June 29th for two weeks. They are bringing their children Luca and Leah who I haven’t seen in seven years. Susanne was pregnant for Luca when they stayed with me in Tuscany. I am super delighted that they are coming and like I said can’t wait to hug them. So why am I having some dread? I fear my life is being torn upside down.

Fear 1 - My job has exploded. We got a new care contract and a competitive radiation therapy unit closed. In the past two weeks we have seen a 25% increase in our patient population. Yikes…plus these new patients are not as well monitored by the medical oncologists so that puts more responsibility on me and my docs. Grease up the roller blades, Laurie’s back to real nursing.

The doctors have asked me to switch my schedule so I will be working on Mondays and off on Fridays. This upsets my routine of how I usually spend my days off. I’m sure it will be okay, but for the moment I don’t like the concept of the change. I’m trying to see the good that not working Fridays will make it easier to schedule my pampered pooch spa treatments like mani/pedi and facials. A girl on the go has got to look good, you know.

Fear 2 - What am I going to do with these kids? I’ve decided the kids are not going to have anything to “do” at my house. I don’t have a Play Station, Wii. pool table nor ping pong. I was delighted to find out from Susi that they don’t have that stuff either. I have a dog, awesome home and me. I hope that is enough. Plus I have all the thrills, beaches and parks of Southern California. I’m sure we will be fine.

Fear 3 - What am I going to feed them? The kids are going to want to eat things that I no longer have in my house. Cookies, cakes, peanut butter, ice cream and pizza is that going to become the daily routine? Can I cope? Of course I can…I deal with this stuff every day at work without much difficulty these days. I have had peanut butter in the house and left it alone when another friend brought it home a couple of months ago. I remember eating breakfast in Germany. Yogurt, fruit, cheese, ham, bread and butter, jam all things that are fine on my food plan. I know I will be okay. Just got to write this out loud. Plus as you know I’m a great cook. It will be fine.

Fear 4 - How am I going to maintain my daily meditation? I’ve been getting up at 5 a.m. to start my day. I can’t be getting up this early with a house full of people. Can I? Thanks Kate for relieving that fear. She reminded me that I have a door off my bedroom that leads to the back 40 (square feet) of yard. I can go sit there and do my meditation in the early morning sunshine.

I’ve decided an early morning bike ride to local coffee shop, Portfolio, would be a perfect spot to do my morning journaling and reading. Phew another obstacle overcome. I can have 1-2 hours of Laurie time before I need to face the day.

Fear 5 - Alison & Peter (son) are coming from New York City the first weekend. In the feast or famine way of the world. My good friend Alison is coming out for a convention in Anaheim, CA the first weekend the Germans are staying with me. I can’t wait to see Alison and hopefully bring her out to the house. Plus, Peter is 1/2 German and speaks German. I’m hoping to get all the kids together for a fun filled day of rides at Disneyland or something. I’m just a natural born entertainer and planner, but it causes me angst.

So all and all it should be a great time. I’m sure I will be fine. Like I keep saying I’m really happy to have the guests. I asked them to come and we will have fun. I think I just need to have a little panic before they arrive so that I will be better prepared for their arrival. Auf Wiedersehen!

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Blip at 3 o’clock, left breast. That is the best way that I can describe what I heard the doctor say as I laid back on the table to be examined. Then I couldn’t remember my right from left. What was she talking about? Yes, I knew I just had a mammogram but I was doing it to cover my ass. I was returning to see her today because I’m looking to explore my sexuality and wanted to know if I was physically fit; if you get my drift.

I went for the mammogram because it was due and I didn’t want to explain why I hadn’t had one. Oh well, I guess you get what you need done, even in a convoluted fashion. The best that I can tell you is that there is something in my left breast. She felt it. I couldn’t. The mammogram identifies it as “a 2 cm focal asymmetry present in left breast at 3 o’clock.” What the heck does that mean?! We don’t know. Needs further investigation.

Now I wait for the authorization for a spot compression with lateral views and ultrasound. Ugh, the agony. I stopped my doctor in her reassuring words as she sat on the little rolling stool and I was on the table. I’m suppose to be on the giving end of this information not the receiving end. I wanted to be sitting on the little rolling stool and not on the table. Nurse comfort thyself and stop your mind from racing.

I know it might be nothing, it could be something and I can’t do anything about it right now. Just live in the moment. Rejoice in the fact that the ob/gyn couldn’t stop commenting on how wonderful I looked and sounded. She said I was “glowing”. The parts I was interested in were high functioning; if you catch my drift. Good news.

I swear I’m starting to feel like a nuclear waste dump. Many people have started to use the word glowing to describe me. It’s really nice, but it starts to sound funny. I know even with the tears, I am extremely happy. I won’t let this blip in the highway of life take away my momentum. I promise not to eat over it and will keep putting one foot in front of the other. Whatever it turns out to be I will be okay.

Thanks to the wonderful women I had dinner with tonight. It was the best way I could think to spend the evening. You really helped me more than you can know. I feel lucky to have many people who care. I’ll keep you posted as details unfold.

To all others, sorry to tell you about this in the blog, but what is a girl to do at 1 o’clock when she can’t sleep. Blogging helps.

For now I will concentrate on my new vocabulary list a friend sent me. Little did he know how much I need to focus on peace right now.
 
English Peace
Spanish LaPaz
French Paix
Latin Pacem
AA Serenity

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Hello - Today is the day for “Laurie Girl on the Go” to be sitting still while the GE repair man sets about fixing my five thousand dollar crap-shit of a Monogram refrigerator. I’m not sure if I should start my blog with the words crap-shit, but so it goes. Those of you that know me know the turmoil I’ve had with the high end appliances that I put in my super state of the art kitchen. In the past four years each of the appliances have had major parts burning up or burning out; requiring lengthy repairs and complete overhaul. These stainless-steel covered nemesis have dogged my journey in creating a perfect cooking environment. I have come to refer to these costly monsters as “crap-shits.” Here is my latest story -

Sunday morning I woke up to find a puddle of water on the kitchen floor outside the freezer. Everything inside was melting. Quick action and I was able to save all of the stuff from the bottom baskets and put them in the outside freezer. An old Kenmore model that I inherited from K&V. This White Knight has not given us any trouble.

When I returned home from the Farmer’s Market I was ready to face the beached whale that was rotting in my kitchen. In my fury to get out of the house I neglected to notice the recent Costco purchases of pork chops and Teriyaki Meatballs. Next shelf I discovered my Louisiana food hoard of crawfish tails, andouille sausage, frozen turkey gumbo, merlitons with shrimp. The list kept growing. Top shelves frozen dinners and leftovers that needed to either be pitched or eaten. What was I going to do with all of this food?

I had already told myself I was willing to throw out the TV dinners and junk that I had been saving for emergency back-up meals when I didn’t want to cook. Disposing of some of my new foods discoveries was starting to hurt. I knew I wouldn’t be able to cook, eat or store all of the food that was left in the belly of the whale.

As I was taking food to the garage I was constantly thinking of meals I could make, who I could invite for dinner, who did I know that liked to cook, what foods worked on individual food plans. My nursing training helps me assess and plan during a crisis. By the end of the excavation everything had either been transported to the back Kenmore or placed in the garbage and I had a plan.

I phoned K&V and asked them over for chicken dinner Monday night. Josh got a lunch of crawfish grits and given Teriyaki meatballs to take to his poker game. Chris G. & Roy took some of the pork chops off my hands. The plan was working. Everyone was willing to commit to helping me eat my food. I started to relax and realize that things were going to be okay. Phew.

Then I started to question what was a single girl doing with so much food? I mean good god! I always joke that I’m a quasi family of four, but I was shopping like I was feeding a family of four on a daily basis. And I’m talking a hearty family of four . A single girl doesn’t need this much food. A family of four doesn’t need this much food. What was I doing with all this food?

I realized that I just loved buying food. I loved the look, texture and feel of each item I had purchased. Anticipating what I would make or how it would taste. Finding a new item I’d never tried, had to be bought. Might never be made, just knowing that I owned it was enough for me. I never wanted to run to the grocery to buy food on the spur of the moment. If my vegetable bin was empty I would start to panic. I know I am a compulsive overeater. Now I am seeing that I am a compulsive food over-buyer.

Yikes, that hurts. I’ve started rethinking not only how I consume food, but how I purchase it. I need to make honorable and wise food purchases. Stop the hoarding. Stop the impulse buying. No more chicken thighs twenty thighs at a time. Can you hear the angels singing? It sounds like freedom. It sounds like sanity.

Okay that being said, here’s the insanity. I’m still going to allow myself one decadent pleasure with food. A foodie must have her pleasure. I reserve the option to purchase sensuous shaped fruits or vegetables that I find at the Farmer’s market. Right now I have a well shaped sweet potato that reminds me of a Botero nude. Besides, who wouldn’t want this beauty laying around the house?

As for the Monogram refrigerator. After 2 hours of serious service repair. Terrance, the wonderful GE repair man, discovered that the main circuit board had gotten stuck in the defrost cycle so that is why everything was melting. When he changed the main board, than the compressor wouldn’t work. The whole repair job started back in January with a faulty ice maker. All I can say is, it’s a crap-shit!

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