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Today the insomnia may be working to my advantage. I’m leaving early to start my much anticipated weekend of relaxation and meditation up at Esalen. Wait; is that an oxymoron to anticipate relaxation? Laurie “Girl on the Go” is learning to “Let Go” but having a hard time releasing herself in the moment.

Friend, Heather, sent me this wonderful link to a story by Mark Morford entitled,“Sit down, shut up and breathe”. From the title you would think that was my present mantra, which might be why meditation has not always seemed so simple. Hard to relax when you are beating yourself on the head with a mental mallet.

I am hoping with the Mind, Mood, and Happiness: Meditation and Mindbody Healing Workshop that I will learn to become not only a compassionate person to a recorded woman screaming in distress, but most importantly to the woman screaming in my frontal lobe that is me. The secret must be to quiet that internal lady so that I can be empathetic and compassionate to others. Wish me luck.

Safe travels to all who may be joining me on the physical and mental highways this weekend. No road rage allowed.

Is Nuala meditating or sleeping? Whichever she seems to be at peace. No dogs allowed at Esalen, thanks K&V for taking in the orphan. I’ll miss her.

Yesterday, was a day for Laurie Girl on the Go to spend some time with her nursing friends, Sandy and Susan. First stop was Cerritos College to see the end of year woodworking and manufactoring exhibit at this year’s Student Appreciation Day.

Years ago, when I first moved to Long Beach these new friends and home owners decided we should take a wood working class so that we could be handy around our recently bought homes that were in major need of repair. What were we thinking? Woodworking is hard and takes years of practice. Plus they were teaching us how to make things not repair things. The class was loads of fun. I’ve learned to really love the wood and have a deep respect for the craftsmanship in every table, box or cabinet I saw.

Being a new member of the blogging community. I neglected to remember my camera so here is a photo of the my only fully completed project from my class. A beautiful “push stick” made out of cherry.

For those of you who might not be familiar with a “push stick”, it is a tool used in the wood shop to push the wood near the saws so as not to put your vulnerable fingers near the menacing teeth. If you could have only seen the moldy piece of raw wood from which this stick was rendered, you might have a greater appreciation for the hours of cutting, sanding and oiling it took to bring it to its luminous finish. For the moment I use it as a trivet in the kitchen and think fondly of those days in “the shop”.

It was wonderful to be back among the men and woman, surrounded by nice people who had such pleasure in their art. Their pieces of craftsmanship put my push stick to shame. We ran into a former class mate who had built a 4 car garage next to his house and converted it to a woodshop. Although he stated he didn’t spend enough time in the shop, he had two beautiful jewelry boxes in the exhibit. Ahh…to be there again was great.

Maintaining my persona as “Girl on the Go” the nurses stopped at a uniform shop for much needed new nursing outfits then a quick stop at TJ Maxx for a new bathing suit. I hadn’t gotten the memo that swimming was on the agenda for the day. We headed to Susan’s for a dip in her pool. It was a great way to beat the 100 degree heat wave.

The evening ended with dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, The Fish Company. Last night’s dinner choice was crab stuffed halibut with a mushroom cream sauce. Could have been something I had gotten in New Orleans except with a different fish. Tasty, fresh and cooked to perfection, plus they held the lemon which made me really happy.

Wow, what a day. Thanks nursing friends for a wonderful adventure and helping me discover what size clothes I wear.

For the low price of beans and rice and a 1/2 bottle of wine, I got a great computer lesson from Val on all the nifty new things I can do with my blog. Expect more pictures and graphics.

The dogs were bored. Val and I had fun. Thanks for the lesson. I’m feeling more and more computer savvy each day.

Little did I know a few months ago when I discovered the “Wizard of Bras”, Monrovia, CA was going to become one of my frequent destinations. Start telling people you have found a good thing and they all want to see what you have found. For those who are interested here are links to Wizard of Bras website and Kate’s blog about our initial visit.

What intrigued me about yesterday’s field trip was that I was taking a friend and her 12 year old daughter to get her daughter’s first real bras. Not being a mother myself it is only through these short glimpses in the lives of others that I see the emotional as well as physical changes that are occurring during these pubescent years. I got to be an Auntie for a day.

Having the bra ladies measure you, demonstrate the proper placement and fitting of the bra can be intimidating for a veteran like myself. Sonia did well under pressure. I could see her apprehension and dread. It was definitely time for the support. It was cute that she had no idea that her cup size was large. She just couldn’t believe her mother had convinced her to buy anything so lacy and girlie. It was sweet.

Once the shopping was finished and a stop for an outdoor lunch in Monrovia with poodle in tow it was time to head back to Long Beach. Our excursion was short, we were ladies and poodle on a mission. Friend/Mom noted that we still had time for a prearranged play date at the park. When asked if she would like to go to the park. Sonia squealed, “Yes, I would love to go to the park.” She started talking the most she had the entire day. This was a subject she knew and it interested her. She was delighted.

As we pulled up the car and let Sonia out to be with her friends, I watched her dash to the jungle gym and slides. I realized at that moment she was still such a little girl. Unaware that the physical changes she was experiencing were just the starting point of a huge emotional shift that was about to occur in her life. For my friend, motherhood was going to take on a whole new set of challenges. Wow what a time.

For me this journey reminds me of one of my favorite Mother and Daughter stories. I was probably around Sonia’s age and I went with my mom to have her jewelry appraised for insurance purposes. As we walked past the counters of large diamonds necklaces and earrings I exclaimed, “who would ever want to wear this gaudy stuff!?” My mother with a knowing eye, smiled at me and said, ”just wait dear, you’ll see.”

Thirty something years later I do see. Thanks mom for taking me shopping for my first bra and allowing me to come to understand and appreciate the finer things in life. Happy Mother’s Day.

It has been noted on more that one occasion that I will go see a movie that you feel worse after seeing it than before you went into the theater. That is not always the case for me. I like to see a movie that makes me think. As an observer, analyzer and participant in the human condition I love to see movies that try to explain how we look, think and act. Such was the case with the other two movies I saw this weekend. I haven’t seen three movies in three nights in a long time. This weekend started the release of the summer flicks. I took advantage of usual movie date, Val, being at the air show this weekend to partake in some serious drama and independent films. Stuff I thought he wouldn’t be interested in seeing. Thanks Jean for attending the movies, I look forward to more movie viewing in the future.

Then She Found Me

I didn’t know much about this movie before I went to see it. I don’t want to give too much away because I felt that the plot was interesting and what really spoke to me in the film was the character development. From what I had been told this was Helen Hunt’s directoral debut and she co-wrote the screenplay. She wasn’t going to wear make-up nor try to hide her 40 something years through lighting. She held true to her word and sometimes I think she went out of her way to look particularly dowdy. Each of the characters was totally believable. Each was flawed. Each was trying to understand and trust each other. Each had difficulty being honest and trustworthy. At first glance one might think this is a story about motherhood and longing, but it is really the story of betrayal.

Rating - 3 nursing caps with prescription “travel the labyrinth of human frailty and defense to find the true nurturing self.”

The Visitor

Wow, what a great film. Not since last year’s Academy Award winner for Best Foreign Film, “The Lives of Others” have I seen such powerful, understated portrayal of emotion. Richard Jenkins, plays Walter Vale a lonely Connecticut college professor whose life is completed changed when he returns to his New York City pied de tier to find two people living in his apartment. Jenkins, best known to me as the dead Dad on “Six Feet Under”, completely loses the snarkiness of that character and is transformed from a recluse hiding from people to opening up not only to the couple in his apartment but to his inner creative being. This story is about extending yourself out of your comfort zone and the benefits achieved through facing the challenge. A must see film.

Rating - 4 nursing caps with prescription “see this movie in the theater to thank Hollywood for making a real movie with depth, emotion and plot.”

For those who might not be familiar with this romantic romp. Think of Julia Robert’s movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and substitute maid of honor for best man and you have the premise. Womanizing Patrick Dempsey is asked to be the maid of honor for his platonic girlfriend played by Michelle Monaghan. Guess what? Dempsey ruins the wedding, gets the girl in the end and hunky Kevin McKidd (from HBO’s Rome) gets left at the alter. Wow…didn’t see that coming.

You might be wondering why a discerning movie critic like myself might be interested in seeing the girlie flick, made for theater vehicle for Dr. McDreamy. I’ve never been a fan of the McDreamy nor watched either of his television shows. It was because of a realization I had in the Macy’s dressing room that caused me to want to see this film.

Weeks ago they were running teaser adds for “Maid of Honor.” One of film clips shows Monaghan stepping out of a ladies dressing room dressed in a tight bustier, black hose and whip. Very, very sexy. A look I’ll probably never possess.

Here is were it gets good for me, ladies and gents. As I was standing looking at myself in the Macy’s dressing room mirror lamenting that I might never have that particular sex kitten look I realized that not all guys look like Patrick Dempsey nor George Clooney. Sometimes guys who look like George Costanza can make my heart do flips.

There is hope and love for all of us. I swear by next year I might actually like my thighs.

As for the movie I will give it 2 nursing caps with the prescription “best flick to see after an ultrasound and you want some mindless entertainment.”

Yeah for the anticlimax. The tests were both negative today. Couldn’t find a blip, spot or anything on the spot mammogram or the ultrasound. Even had two techs performing the ultrasound and neither could spot anything. Now they want in six months to do a repeat mammogram on my left breast . Phew, phew, phew.

Thanks for all the loving thoughts and letting me know that I was not crazy to be nervous and scared. Although now that it is nothing, I feel a little silly. But I would rather feel silly now and have felt all of the love I’ve received this week versus being afraid and obsessing by myself. Have a great weekend. I plan on getting a restful sleep tonight.

Today’s the day for the spot mammogram and ultrasound and I’m scare. I’m scare that this ordeal will not be completed today. I will need to have the focal asymmetry removed for complete analysis. I fear that my thoughts are all powerful and my sick mind can predict the future. I really think the blip is a fat lump. I don’t think I have cancer. It is scary.

I liked it better when my biggest worries were: 1.) How was I going to even my weird sun tan lines on my legs? 2.) Who was going to become my new leg waxer? 3.) When was I going to have my first “real” date? 4.) What was I going to have for dinner?

These questions seemed overwhelming in the past. Ah…to have such simple worries.

Well testing 2 & 3 will hopefully be completed by 5 p.m. today and then I return to some of the simpler concerns. Hey, anyone out there know a good leg waxer? Keep the good thoughts coming, I need them. I’m not sure I’m doing a great job myself. I love the love.

Now the doctors think that the blip on the mammogram might be a result of my recent weight loss. My doctor talked with the radiologist that read the original mammogram and now they are thinking that the “focal asymmetry” of my left breast may be “a residual island of globular tissue from the ducts” caused by my significant weight loss. There is that word significant again. Neither doctor thought it was serious. Yippy!

This gives me a sense of relief, but I must continue with the spot mammogram and ultrasound on Friday for further evaluation. I’m now fearing that I will end up with a lumpectomy because of a fat lump. Be thankful that they think it is a fat lump, Laurie.

Thank you, Dr. K for making the phone call to the radiologist. You have helped me gather peace. The next three days seem bearable because of your reassuring words.

For all those reading, please keep the healthy thoughts coming for Friday, May 2nd at 2:30 p.m. I would really like them to find nothing that needs to be removed or altered. I would like to keep my boobie as it is.

Today marks the debut of LaSue’s Movie Reviews - in keeping with M&M over at incremental updates I will use a 4 point rating system. Instead of gliomas I will use the much harsher “nursing caps” rating system. I have always thought the reviewers at M&M were a little liberal with their gliomas. I don’t think anything has gotten less than 3 gliomas and most movies are 4 gliomas in their mind. The nursing world is a little more critical. Think white sensible shoes, white hose and white caps. Sounds intimidating doesn’t it?

Forbidden Kingdom marks the first collaboration between current martial arts greats Jackie Chan & Jet Li. Each master of kung fu has their own style that they bring to theaters and they seem to maintain it with this film. Chan has somewhat reprised his comedic role of Drunken Master while Jet Li plays the more somber Silent Monk. Although it was his alter ego as Monkey King that Jet Li shines with his great monkey smile and monkey kung fu.

The plot line of the film is about when an American teen obsessed with kung fu gets sent on an adventure to ancient China, where he joins up with a band of martial arts warriors in order to free the imprisoned Monkey King. The cinematography, costumes and sets are spectacularly beautiful. It is nonstop Kung Fu from beginning to end. No gratuitous sex or violence, strictly great pole fighting and flying kicks. I definitely consider this movie a must see film. It was a great way to beat the heat and to escape into another time and space.

Although I thought it couldn’t be done. My first movie review gets 4 nurse caps and the prescription of “See this film in the movie theater to appreciate the wonderful action and cinematography.”